“Where on earth have you been?” the chairman of the insignificantly sized investment company TwoHoots Asset Management exclaimed when we finally caught up the other day. “I’ve been worried sick.” “That’s sweet,” I replied. “And I do apologise – it’s just that … well, you know how these days I like to commemorate our conversations with a little pictorial representation?” “I had noticed,” the chairman nodded.
“Well, the pictorial representer has been revising for her GCSEs and I didn’t want to impose,” I explained. “Still, half-term has struck at an opportune moment because I have been keen to ask you something and was worrying the time might was passing.” “Given our last chat was about Aberdeen’s branding contortions, I’m not sure topicality has ever been our biggest consideration,” the chairman observed. “So what’s on your mind?”
“Have you ever considered running a subscription service offering access to your investment strategies and ideas?” I asked. “In a word, no,” the chairman replied. “Then again, I have never really had need to. For one thing, I’m not sure people would exactly be queuing up to buy my investment ideas – which, of course, is why I hire fund managers.
“And, either way, whatever investment strategies I do happen to believe our punters should be following, I tend to offer them as … oh, what’s that word again?” “Funds?” I offered helpfully. “That’s the one,” smiled the chairman. “Still, I’m guessing that rather drives to the heart of your question, doesn’t it?” I nodded and we both sat quietly for a while.
Free country
“Listen,” said the chairman eventually. “To be clear, this is a free country – by and large – so, if you believe you have something worth selling then, all things being equal and all necessary regulatory hoops jumped through, you should be able to see if anyone agrees it is worth buying. If they do, great – that’s on them. If they don’t, well, it may be time to consider if it might just possibly be on you.
“Equally, while I’m not entirely convinced Easter Week is the perfect time to announce your intention to make a comeback, there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to do so. In fact, once we develop a taste for the wonderful world of investment – and whatever that may feed in us – some of us find it impossible to walk away for good. I mean, how many asset management businesses have I set up in the years we’ve known each other?”
“Oh, I gave up counting years ago,” I shrugged. “Since you bring it up, though, did any of those businesses draw to a close under, let us say, regulatory attention?” “Nothing that was ever acted upon – which seems relevant to point out here,” the chairman replied. “As, of course, does the fact I never stuck my own surname, as it were, ‘above the door’.”
Maybe, just maybe
“That had not escaped me,” I nodded. “Still, let’s switch back – a moment or two ago, I sense you were building to a ‘but’ …” “I suppose I was,” the chairman sighed. “Or perhaps an ‘It’s just that …” “Soooo?” I prompted. “It’s just that …” the chairman continued with uncharacteristic hesitation. “Let me put it this way – there are times when you don’t get to choose when you make your comeback.
“Forget what the regulators may have to say – or not, as the case may be. And with the greatest respect, forget what your own alleged profession may think. Sometimes it just comes down to the court of public opinion and, if the modern era has taught us anything, it is that you go away, you shush for a while, you bag a gig on Strictly or I’m a Celebrity and then maybe, just maybe, you get to go again.
“As I believe the saying goes, you read the room. Or at least you have the good fortune to have close friends who can – and the good sense to listen to them. If not – if you go too hard, too quickly or indeed too tearily – then, frankly, you risk ending up giving off what might be dubbed ‘Sussex Vibes’. It is very understandable. It is very human. It is just not a great look.”
“You read the room. Or at least you have the good fortune to have close friends who can – and the good sense to listen to them.
